just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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