So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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