i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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