Porn is love you can see.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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