I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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