Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I love you. Go after that dick
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