Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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