I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
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It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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