Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize