whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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