how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This baby is an asshole
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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