I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize