Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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