Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize