Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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