im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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