you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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