Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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