I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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