My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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