doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize