were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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