I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize