They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
True college students do jello shots in the library
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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