Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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