as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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