How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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