Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
smell my finger.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize