just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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