Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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