Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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