he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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