I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize