alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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