Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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