It's like God shit irony all over that family
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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