Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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