I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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