Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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