He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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