You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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