i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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