don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize