you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize