Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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