I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
In America we eat man semen.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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