Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize