Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize