That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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