someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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